


Plan B

by slightly_ajar



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angus MacGyver - Freeform, Bickering, Bromance, Homage, Jack Dalton - Freeform, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 21:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13889646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightly_ajar/pseuds/slightly_ajar
Summary: They glared at each other silently.  A pigeon landed nearby and started pecking at the ground, looking for scraps, unaware of the battle of wills happening beside it.Mac twisted one of the metal spikes again. “For this plan to work…"So I was wondering what would the circumstances have to be for Jack to actually punch Mac, and came up with this.





	Plan B

**Author's Note:**

> I think it’s important to point out that anyone who has seen the BBC Sherlock episode A Scandal in Belgravia will recognise this scenario. I adore Sherlock and mean absolutely no disrespect by referencing a particular moment in that episode. I mean it as a homage, not a rip off. I love that scene and thought it would be fun to MacGyver it. 
> 
> Also, it might be worth pointing out that I’m in the UK and we’re about six episodes behind America so there might have been character or plot developments in the series that I’ve missed out here because I haven’t seen them yet. 
> 
> Thanks x

They found the building they were looking for easily. It was hard to miss, being huge, mostly made of shining glass with a lump of modern art outside the main entrance. The green squiggle was either a complicated bow or a snake suffering from an electric shock.  
Modern art was crazy.

Jack liked the building’s security even less than its foyer decoration. There were cameras everywhere, guards with gun shaped bulges in their jackets prowled, swipe card operated gates waited past the guards and the doors beyond the gates looked like they had bio metric, eye scanning, beepity beep machines that needed to be bippity booped before they opened.

It looked the kind of place where they would invent AI or build the Terminator. The kind of place where, in a rebooted alternative timeline of their lives, Mac would work. He’d be behind one of those huge windows wearing a white coat and peering into a microscope discovering perpetual motion, planning a manned mission to Mars or inventing a flying car. Jack was going to have to remind Mac about building a flying car. He was convinced Mac could do it if he put his mind to it. Driving one would be awesome and not just because Bruce Willis did in that freaky space movie.

“We’re not just strolling in there.” Mac said, his eyes flicking over the cameras, guards and gates. “Let’s go around the back and see what we can come up with.”

The alley around the back of Skyrim Towers was cleaner than a lot of the alleys it had been Jack’s misfortune to experience. It was a narrow space that was bordered by two concrete walls that smelled of exhaust fumes and the black dumpster that stood against one of the walls. There were no piles of rubbish for bad guys to hide in and no rats, just a couple of pigeons flapping their way to the ground from the thin, blue stripe of sky above them. 

Mac was rummaging through the dumpster while Jack checked for exits, entrances and lines of sight.

“Aha!” Mac pulled a broken pink umbrella from the dumpster, looking pleased.

Jack raised his eyebrows. “Unless you have a magic wand tucked in there, Hagrid, I don’t see how that is going to get us inside.” Mac had pulled out his Swiss Army knife and was cutting away at a section of the pink fabric. “You’re not going to like this idea.”

“If I had a dollar for every time you’ve said that I could retire and move to Hawaii. Hell, I could retire and buy Hawaii." Mac started to twist one of the prongs of the umbrella into the shape of a…thing?

“Okay,” he stood in front of Jack, planting his feet on the floor. “For this plan to work I need you to punch me in the face.”

Jack blinked. “I beg your pardon.”

“Punch me in the face,” Mac pointed to his cheekbone impatiently.

“Mac,” Jack began, adopting, he thought, a calm and reasonable to tone of voice. “Am your body guard. My job is to stop people punching you in the face. Not to be the one doing the punching.” The reasonable tone started to wear thin quite quickly and by the end of his sentence Jack’s voice had risen steadily in tone and pitch.

“And I usually appreciate that, man. But, just for today, I want to…reverse engineer that.”

“You can reverse engineer your brain.” Jack took two steps back, “because I won’t do it.”

And that was it as far as he was concerned. His job, on and off the clock, was to guard Mac, keep him safe. Not put bruises on him. They collected enough scrapes and scars as it was without adding extras to each other.

They glared at each other silently. A pigeon landed nearby and started pecking at the ground, looking for scraps, unaware of the battle of wills happening beside it.

Mac twisted one of the metal spikes again. “For this plan to work…”

“No.”

“Please.”

“Nope.”

“Pretty please.”

“Absolutely not.”

Mac’s eyed narrowed as his expression shifted to his Plotting and Planning face. He eyed Jack appraisingly. Then nodded. Jack was struck by the feeling that he was going to hate whatever it was that Mac had come up with. 

“Willy Nelson sucks.”

“Oh, low blow there brother. But it’s not going to work.” Jack’s will power and sense of honour was stronger than a lame jab intended to make him angry from Mr Ginormous brain over there.

Mac’s eyes narrowed again. “The Cowboys are a terrible team and they won't win the Super Bowl.”

Jack’s will and sense of honour wavered ever so slightly.

“You are skating close to the line there, dude. If you want the people in there,” He pointed sharply to the building. He was starting to hate that building, and this mission, and Mac a little bit, “to feel sorry for you just use your big puppy eyed, dimple cheeked look on them,”

“What puppy eyed look?”

“Oh, you know which one I mean!” Jack had seen the effect it had on the ladies; except Matty of course. It worked on Bozer too. Jack would stone cold deny until his dying day that he had tried to replicate it in the mirror.

Mac shifted his weight, clearly thinking hard. Jack considered turning around and walking out of the alley, maybe going to the front of the building and ringing the doorbell just to see what happened next. He was tempted to abandon this whole damn mission and go for Afternoon Tea because it was obviously doomed to failure and being anywhere else had to be better.

“Metallica….”

“Stop.” Jack help up a hand.

“Metallica...”

“No!”

“Metallica…”

“Negative. Negative, solider. Stop that line of attack right now.” Jack stepped forward, his finger pointing right between Mac’s eyes.

Mac changed his stance, relaxing his knees, looking the very picture of a man who was preparing to take a blow.

“Metallica…”

Jack stepped forward again, swept his right hand up and flicked Mac on his left cheekbone, just under his eye.

“What was that!?” Mac’s hand had stared to rise up to cup his face, obviously expecting to be cradling a bruised and aching cheek, but stopped halfway after realising that what Jack had done didn’t hurt at all.

“That’s the best you are going to get. Move on to plan B. This plan has been aborted. We’re running out of time and I’ve run out of patience.” Jack was pretty much shouting now. Without the pretty much. Just the shouting.

Mac responded in kind, “Well if you’d just punched me when I asked you to we’d be in there and nearly finished by now!”

“Well if you’d used you big ole brain properly and had thought of a half decent plan,” Jack was oddly pleased with the way his voice was echoing, “we would be almost home and not stood in an alley trying to think of a better one!”

“Well if…” the pigeon bursting into flight startling Mac who stopped shouting mid yell. A hostile challenge sounded from an opened door and two determined looking security men ran at them.

“Time for plan B, bud!” Jack yelled, finally balling his fists.

_Later_

Los Angeles pollution turned the sky into a collection of pinks and reds as the sun went down. Lights came on and birds began to roost as the city settled into evening. 

The mission had been completed successfully. The bad guys had been stopped and hauled away in handcuffs, and the good guys were safe, well and were about to have burgers and beers together on the deck of Mac and Bozers house. Just like Jack liked it. He dropped onto the wooden seat next to Mac and handed him a bottle.

“Thanks.” 

“So,” Jack stretched out his legs towards the fire in the pit, “this ‘punch me in the face’ thing, can I get a rain check on that?”

Laughing, Mac shook his head, “that was a once in a lifetime deal.”

Jack scratched his chin, “N’aw, I think I’m just going to keep that offer safe in my pocket.” He patted the back of his jeans. “You never know when I might need it.”

“Well that’s something to look forward to. Will I get a warning beforehand or will you just, you know,” Mac made a fist and prodded at the air with it, “cash in?” 

“You’ll get a warning, bro, I’m not a barbarian.” Jack pointed to Mac with his bottle. “Unless you insult Metallica again of course.”

“You know, technically, never actually insulted Metallica.”

“Good. Best if we keep it that way.” Jack winked.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” They clinked their bottles together.

**Author's Note:**

> The "freaky space movie" Jack mentions is The Fifth Element. It's a film I love and will watch if I ever find it when channel flicking ("big bada booom!").
> 
> I agree with Jack about flying cars. They would be awesome. I'm still holding out hope that they could be available in the near future :)


End file.
